There are voluminous sorts of marriages or Vivaha in Hindu Tradition. For example Shakuntala’s and Dushyanta is a Gandharva Marriage .A marriage by a mutual consent, without any wedding ceremony .Many wedding’s in the west fall beneath this category. The most prevalent marriage is vaidikha-vivah also known as Brahma-Vivaha.
Vaidikha –Vivaha: In this kind of wedding, typically a number of guests are invited to appear and bless the couple, if the guests are fresher than they wish and pray for the couples suppose their senior even by a day they bless them. Everyone present at the occurrence is a spectator to the wedding the priests, Brahmans, fire, devatas etc. Our heart and mind is a onlooker to the wedding here the concept of heart and mind being the witness is with reference to one’s conscience. Finally the atma is the observer to the wedding.
Rituals: There are innumerable rituals performed in a wedding ceremony. First we perform Nandi –sradha this particular ritual is performed to obtain the blessings of the ancestors. Then we perform dayadi homa to get the blessings of all the devatas. There are other significant rituals involving the families of bride and bridegroom, their brothers and sisters are also involved in the rituals. The mangalyam dharanam or the tying of the mangala-sutra is an imperative step, but is not the final ritual .it is only a prelude for what follows .The Vaidikha-vivah is comprehensive only after the seven steps i.e. taking the seven steps by the couple. These seven steps are very symbolic and very significant .They are symbolic of two people coming together, both of whom are pilgrims .Here a pilgrim is not just a traveler, every wanderer is not a pilgrim whereas every pilgrim is a traveler for example someone who goes to Hawaii is not a pilgrim, but a person who goes to Varanasi is a pilgrim. A pilgrim has a sacred destination .Thus every step that has been taken in saptapadi is very sacred and is a prayer. “May all pervasive Lord the sustainer of everything, lead us as we take this step.”
The purpose of marriage: Human life is very complex and we have to make it simple. Each one is born alone, and walks alone, and is proceeding towards certain destination. Security is one destination and is relative in the beginning .Only once we gain relative security then only we can gain absolute security. For example money, home, progeny etc. are all forms of relative security which gives us a sense of satisfaction which in turn gives us a sense of maturity .For, instance we get a sense of fulfillment through our children. Everyone has an inner child that has missed out something in his or her childhood. When we become a parent through the process of parenting we get back what we have lost. The experience of love is the same whether we love or loved by another person. When we think the other person loves us it is only our speculation but when we love we are sure about our love. As a parent we are certain about our love for our children. That is why when we bring up our children we become therapist for our self. In prior day’s therapist were not needed. When we become a father or mother we get what we missed as a child, this why marriage is for, to nurture in marriage it is for one’s self -growth.
In this creation that is taking place the man and woman, two pilgrims begin a life composed. Every self –conscious individual wants to be self-satisfied, there will be a stage where in we are gratified without anyone’s endorsement we feel satisfied with ourselves and there will be a sense of self contentment. What every self – conscious being has to see himself or herself as an adequate person ,self-contentment ,happy and emotionally secure this is the destination which everyone should strive for which is called Moksha or freedom.
Emotionally –secure: Here we have to be morally upright without any conflicts then only we can be emotionally secure. To achieve this emotional –security one should fuse one’s ego and for that we entail another person, we have to work with that person towards emotional growth because when there is another person one ego rubs another ego ,if the rub is too rough is not good, if there is no roughness at all its not good either. This is the nature of marriage, there will be some roughness but you have to work it out because we have given commitment, in the presence of all the witnesses that we are going to be together for life .We don’t have a choice because we have declared openly in front of Agni and devatas therefore it is our obligation to work it out our self .For two persons to martyr it takes a certain sacrifice, a certain yielding. Nobody can sharpen a knife on a rough stone; much less ,on a slab of butter .when we yield we grow and we become richer.
Significance of Marriage :
Marriage is a very significant event in one’s life .It’s a sacred ritual where two separate pilgrims come together to proceed towards the same goal. Like two rivers come together from different sources and merge into same ocean, these people come together in a marriage and undertake the pilgrimage together, therefore marriage is not an end ,if it were an end .It is a sadhana for our growth, and we should make marriage as means for our growth and ensure that nobody is a loser .Naturally couple prays to the lord and then take seven steps.
Saptapadi-Seven steps: The first step in saptapadi is for material wealth, the next step is for health and strength .The third step is towards wealth of all kinds including inner wealth and the couple is asking for help for following dharma, for growth. The fourth step is towards mutual happiness and fifth towards welfare of families; sixth step is taken towards prosperity and finally the seventh step towards the happiness born of wisdom.
After taking the seven steps the bride and bridegroom chants a mantra pledging lasting friendship, mutual respect and harmony, once the bride is in home she becomes a friend. In Indian culture a man is generally older than his wife, because of this he is given respect, in this relationship neither is inferior or superior to the other.
Sankya –home: The bridegroom chants the mantra saying that he is the Sama and she is the rk meaning he is the lyric and she is the music and he is the earth and she is the heaven and so on. The Sankya homa is the last ritual of the wedding but it is very important .Ultimately a marriage is about friendship and understanding .Finally there is hrdaya – sparsha where both declare that they give their hearts for each other and may the mind be with consonance with each other, this does not mean both of them should think alike it is an affirmation that each will support each other, support other’s interest. The Sankya homa is a wonderful assertion of eternal friendship.
Thus, these Vivaha mantras are very significant and meaningful. Two separate pilgrims, who come together in this friendship pledge to support each other and use the marriage as the means for self-growth.