“As the Mind so the Man.” Most of us are psychological, we want to take charge of every situation, everything should be in our control, and we want to take charge of everything in life .we act according to our whims and fancies .we start to panic if the situation is not according to our control.
Judgmental:
We become judgmental, we judge every situation and circumstances we become victim of our minds, and the act of judging comes from our childhood. We want to be certain about everything in life, we categorize ,judge label people ,if we remain open to situation and we become vulnerable and uncomfortable ,because we are so used to judging .The main cause for judging a person is we cannot handle ourselves very well we are not ready to accept people as they are .
Those who are judgmental are also highly judgmental about themselves. Therefore, they judge others and then behave accordingly. They usually fulfill their own projections and then project their opinions, their judgments, upon others. People who judge others are always very sure that they are correct, which is another problem because they will not revise their opinions. They fall in love with their own judgments and therefore do not want to revise them. Only in this way they feel secure. Those who keep revising their judgments are not judgmental, really speaking. In certain situations where you have to do something, you act, but you do not judge the person for good. This means you are open. To people who are judgmental, this openness is vulnerability. So they keep on judging.
Criticism:
Most of the time we criticize others,critical way of perceiving things is caused due jealousy or some kind of intolerance. Here the whole problem lies in the way we look at ourselves; if we are insecure we seek secure situations and work accordingly depending on the framework we are placed in. If we have a tendency to criticize others we are suffering from low self-esteem.
Remedy for Low self-esteem:
How do we correct this problem? By looking into our self-esteem. Why do we have such a low self-esteem? What is it that we don’t’ have? In this way, we have to conduct an inquiry on self-esteem itself. Instead of trying to improve the self-esteem, we ask ourselves, “What is this low self-esteem?”
There are certain things, of course, which will help develop self-esteem, but first we must question the low self-esteem, “What is esteem, and on what basis do we estimate our self?” Upon analysis, the low self-esteem will simply fall apart. Therefore, this analysis must be done constantly. We can also begin to give the benefit of doubt to the other person and to allow that person to be what he or she is. A person is a dynamic person and, therefore, can always change. Also, our perception may be wrong. More often than not, it is our own projection. We simply project and judge from our own standpoint. We have definite ideas about what is right and wrong and these we project upon other people.
If we understand these things, we have a certain basis upon which to deal with people as they are. People are not always the same; they are continually changing. If we are ready for surprises, we will not be surprised. Nor will we be disappointed. The proofreading mind is one that is always trying to find some defect in the other person. This is what is meant by criticism. The other person may have some virtues, but the one who criticizes always tries to find his or her defects. In fact, one who criticizes finds only the defects. To correct this, we should look only for the virtues and then any criticism that arises is more balanced. There is no necessity whatsoever to criticize. Criticism is nothing but intolerance, stemming from our own problems.
Analyzing and questioning our thinking will help to make our world a better place for you, so change your thoughts and reshape your life.