It is heart warming in these trying times to note a rare heroic blessed couple from Perde House, Punjalkatte a villiage of Madanthyar in Dakshina Kannada district, Karnataka - Joseph Pais (101) born on May 13, 1919 and Cossess Pais (95) born on March 5, 1925. All who know their credible charm admire them - amazingly they are proud to be married for complete 79 years and commence 80th year - married on MAY 20, 1941 at Sacred Heart Church Madanthyar . Truly showered with blessings from the heavens and possibly the oldest living couple in the area/parish and true to the Konkani ethos of Kanara; let us take a closer look.
Remembrances :
Arranged wedding was normal, in the WWII times everything was difficult, like in the 'Corona' times of 2020 we now face. The couple surely never met before though both families are from Madanthyar parish. Bride Cossess D'Souza, was just 15 when she came to her married home, perfectly normal at that time. They are sure their early days were happy, Cossess smilingly said that in those times all mother's in- law were strict and feared and my case was no different, but it gave a stable weight to our early togetherness and affection grew rapidly.
Progresses :
Life was far from a bed of roses for the couple and the family living in the wilderness of Madanthyar, where the only source of livelihood was agriculture. The couple went through much struggle to bring up their 13 children - 7 girls and 6 boys and there were a few instances where the couple and sometimes even the children had to fight for survival. One of the daughters of the couple died at a young age. Five daughters are married off and are well settled, the last one is a nun Sr.Lucy Pais FMA. Among the boys most of them live in Madanthyar around the home, except for one son, Pascal, who is in Mumbai.
In deed it's a fairy tale of love personified, family members pitch in with many observations, all very amusing and true...Grandpa Joseph always wants his dear wife around him , a granddaughter mentions ,“if my grandpa cannot see grandma around or hear her voice he keeps calling and looks around for her worried. He won't rest till he finds her, really attached to her in many ways, may not be demonstrative on the surface as our modern couples now generally are, but actions are the real proof - family members admire and try to emulate the close bond they share and the values they teach.
Son Denis also points out that even now Joseph expects his wife to be present before him as soon as he calls her and so to with others in the house. David also said that the old parents have their own share of fights, bickering or altercations which were short lived. He is also very fond of traditional Mangalorean fare and keeps grumbling if the taste is not to his liking. Son Dennis, with whom the elderly couple now live recalls “I could study only up to 7th standard because of the then prevailing conditions. There was lot of poverty and the only source of income was from the beetle leaf crop and some paddy we used to grow. I remember I used to accompany my parents to the markets in Madanthyar and even to markets as far as Belthangady and Moodbidri. Most of the time we used to go walking the long distances to reach the markets an and if we wed get money on our produce."
The home and agricultural lands are bordering a forest and Joseph owned a licensed gun, he was fond of hunting and loved fishing too, it also helped in contributing to the food demands of a hard working large family and the extended family as well in those times. Now the aged couple live in the rebuilt house with their 7th son Denis and his family (wife and 5 children) who care lovingly - 4 of the sons live in the vicinity and their love and care knows no bounds, agriculture work is shared as per traditions. Five daughters married in nearby areas are all the time ready to attend, practically a joint family - joy has no limit.
For a while now retired Joseph spends his time reading newspapers, periodicals or watching television and is up to date. Cossess is busy attending to her husband’s needs and the children who dote on her, watches television and she also helps in the kitchen. She is also fond of telling stories to her great grandchildren and sometimes narrates the events of their early life. The entire family is very devout and worship is an important part of day to day life and life moves positively leaving the matter to GOD. It is exemplary to note the contribution they have made to the Church : Priest and religious in the family are exemplary, one daughter Sr.Rita Lucy Pais FMA, the last 13th one is a Nun. Three grand daughters are Nuns. One grandson a Carmelite priest, with two more grandsons in the seminary. One great grandson is in the seminary too. Joseph's family has two priests, while Cossess' family has 3 priests and 2 nuns.
The Lucky 13 : (1) Dulcine Pais - June 1942, (2) Paul Pais -March 1944, (3) Nathalia Pais - March 1946, (4)Late Cecilia Pais - 1948, (5) Helen Pais - April 1950, (6) Mark Pais - April 1952, (7) Mary Pais - May1953, (8) Denis Pais - Nov 1956, (9) Pascal Pais - June. 1958, (10) Alexander Pais- May 1960, (11) John Pais - Jan 1962, (12)Emilia Pais - July 1964, (13) Rita Lucy Pais - June 1966.
The couple is quite healthy despite their advancing age except for a few age-related health issues they have no major illness and they are able to help them selves. Cossess is also quite active and even goes to church whenever possible, because of the distance. They live in Punjalkatte, Madanthyar with their son Dennis and his family. The couple has 64 grandchildren and 68 great grandchildren and many more can be expected. The giant family celebrated the couple's platinum wedding anniversary (75 yrs) in 2015. All the 12 children of the couple and most of the grandchildren and great grandchildren were part of the grand platinum wedding jubilee celebrations, held at their residence and jubilee mass was celebrated by 10 priests. The last daughter’s profession as a nun was celebrated on the same occasion, making it a memorable and impressive family celebration. Indeed the great couple and all the big family are wished well for the days to come; even with new out looks in sight be confident that that the best is wished for each and all.
-By Ivan Saldanha-Shet. Managlore.